In My Dreams Read online

“Would you mind if I had a few minutes alone with Lizzy?”

  “Of course not! I’ll go down and check out the snack shop. Those fries were a teaser. Now I’m really hungry,” she said jumping off the bed. “Be back soon!”

  “We’ll be waiting!” I responded cheerfully. She smiled, and skipped out the door.

  “She’s something else, isn’t she?” Tyler said abruptly. “She is just so random… but I like it,” he said with a grin.

  “Oh, you have no idea,” I said, cleaning up my mess and pushing the tray away from me.

  Tyler laughed and pulled his chair to my side.

  Big crocodile tears began to pool in his baby blue eyes. I knew this whole situation must have been agonizing for him. “Lizzy, I’m so sorry, and I don’t blame you for hating me.”

  I knew this moment would come. I played it in my mind. But no matter how much I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t.

  “It’s alright, Tyler. I forgive you,” I said, placing my hand on his shoulder. I was shocked at how easily the words had exited my mouth.

  He buried his face in his hands and wept.

  “What happened to you, Tyler? Why’d you ditch all of us? Why’d you turn to drugs?” I questioned. I wanted a straight-up answer. I needed to know why, and it was only fair, since his drug addictions were the only reason that triggered this entire incident.

  It took him a moment to gather himself. He wiped his face and looked at me, meeting my gaze.

  “I don’t know, Lizzy. I – I just couldn’t handle it.” He hesitated and looked down at the ground. His hands nervously clasped around each other.

  “Couldn’t handle what?” I pushed.

  He cleared his throat hesitated.

  “You and Michael.”

  “Me and Michael? Why would you say something like that?” How dare he?

  “Lizzy,” he started, and then paused. I could tell that whatever he had to say was difficult to articulate. His brows were furrowed, his body stiffened, his eyes intense.

  “Just tell me, Tyler,” I coaxed, in as warm a voice I could muster.

  He looked at me, and shook his head. “I’ve never told anyone this.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since we were in grade school,” he admitted. His cheeks flush with pink under the wet of his tears.

  I was stunned speechless, my mouth gaping wide open.

  “I kept it to myself because I knew Michael had strong feelings for you too… and you know Michael. He never kept his feelings about you secret. And, he was my best friend.

  “When he gave you the locket, I knew he’d sealed the deal between the two of you. I wasn’t sure if I could handle being around you two. It was easier for me to just walk away.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I searched for words to respond, but I had none. This was the most awkward situation I’d ever been in. I finally knew the truth of why Tyler had ditched all of us and turned to drugs. It was because of me. My heart sank.

  “I’m sorry, Tyler,” was all I could say. I thought of all the years that he wasted because he was jealous of me and Michael. Should I be mad at him? It wasn’t my fault… or Michael’s.

  He took a hold of my hand.

  “Lizzy, I would never have done anything to jeopardize Michael’s life. He was the only real friend I’d ever had. If I’d known --” he started weeping.

  “He would forgive you. Actually, he already has, and I know that for a fact,” I replied. I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. I had a feeling that Michael was probably here… listening.

  Tyler looked at me; his wide, blue eyes were filled with tears. “I wish I could bring him back. I wish it was me who died instead.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to answer him because I felt the same way. I did wish Michael was here instead of him.

  “I have something to tell you,” I told him. I suddenly felt the overwhelming need to tell him about Michael’s visitations. “I’ve seen Michael.”

  He looked confused. My words were too vague.

  “I mean… Michael’s been in contact with me since he’s passed. I’ve talked to him, like I’m talking to you now. Somehow, he’s able to come to me in my dreams.”

  I watched the color wash from his face. “While I dreamt, Michael showed me what happened that night. I saw the man threaten to kill you, for the debt you owed. I know you called Michael for help, and when he showed up without the money, the man forced you and him to leave at gunpoint.

  “I witnessed everything that happened up at Hatcher’s Pass. I saw him count the money; I saw you sitting in the seat next to him. At mile marker 16, I watched him knock you out, and push you out the door into the snow. And then… I saw how he killed Michael.”

  His face was ashen and his eyes were wide as I spoke; giving details that no one else had except for him and Michael. He exhaled hard shaking his head.

  “How did it happen? How did he die?”

  Now I had to take a deep breath.

  “The man had a syringe filled with some kind of fluid.”

  “It was drugs,” he interjected. “I watched him. I knew it was a deadly dose, and I thought it was for me.” He buried his face in his hands again.

  “He pushed it into the back of Michael’s neck. Michael didn’t have a chance. He didn’t see it coming.”

  “Oh my god… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Lizzy,” he sobbed.

  “I didn’t want to forgive you. I hated you so much for bringing Michael into this.”

  “I don’t blame you,” he sobbed. “I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

  “Well, Michael told me that if your life was somehow changed by all of this, then his death was worth it. How could I not forgive you if he already did?”

  He started to weep again, shaking his head like he was in some sort of twisted dream. It felt like a twisted dream, or an episode of the Twilight Zone.

  “Michael,” he whispered to himself. “He tried to reason with me, but I never listened. I didn’t realize how far my stupidity separated me from everything I loved. Everyone I loved. I should be dead. Not him. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to make this up. Not in my lifetime.”

  “Yes, you can. Just start making right decisions, and I know Michael will be happy.”

  He shook his head and looked up at me.

  “I’ll always be here for you, Lizzy. I just want you to know that.”

  “Thank you,” I said, with a sad smile. “Well… I think I’ve had enough sorrys for a day.” I decided to change the subject. My head was aching. “So – what’s up with you and Emily?”

  “Well, I’m not too sure,” he said wiping the tears from his face. His mouth turned up into a grin. “She’s kinda cute and seems pretty cool. It seems we have a lot in common, and her mouth keeps my mind occupied, which is a good thing for me right now.”

  “Yep,” I nodded in agreement. “Her mouth would keep anyone occupied. But, I can tell she really likes you.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh yeah. So don’t mess this one up, ‘cause I’m sure I’ll be hearing all about it.”

  He grinned.

  “Well, I’m glad I finally got that off my chest. If you do happen to see Michael again, tell him that I’m making changes. I’m gonna do it right this time… because of him. I’ll make him proud.”

  He got up off his chair and carried it to the opposite side of the room. “Oh, and tell him that he doesn’t have to worry. I’d never make a move on my best friend’s girl,” he said with a wink and then chuckled.

  “I’m sure I’ll be seeing him soon, and I’ll definitely let him know,” I laughed.

  “Knock-knock!” a high voice echoed from the hallway.

  “Come in Em!” I hollered back. She pranced into the room and plopped down at the foot of my bed with a bag of cheese puffs.

  “Wow, you must have had some pow-wow. You both look like hell,” she giggled. She looked at me with that look. The look of you better spill your gut
s later. She turned to Tyler and they shared a smile, while he wiped all traces of wetness from his face.

  “Oh, how cute,” I said, watching them.

  “Lizzy!” Emily blushed.

  Tyler smiled.

  “So are you guys digging out?”

  “Yeah, I was gonna take Emily to get some real food, since she devoured most of your fries, and is eating junk food.” Emily’s nose crinkled up. “And then I’ll probably take her home.”

  “Well you guys be careful. Remember, that guy is still out there.”

  “We will. Tyler’s dad has an officer tailing us. It’s kinda creepy but he just wanted to make sure we’re safe. Actually, there’s an officer posted right down the hall,” she said pointing out of the room.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yep, your own personal bodyguard. And he’s pretty cute too.” Emily whispered loudly. She grinned and glanced over to Tyler. Tyler rolled his eyes and shook his head. They both came and gave me a hug before leaving.

  “Oh wait!” Emily stopped at the door, and then shuffled back to my bedside. “I almost forgot.” She stuck her hand in her jacket pocket and pulled out my cell phone. “The face is a little scratched up, but it still works.”

  “Thanks Em.”

  “Bye!” She said blowing me a kiss, before disappearing around the corner.

  “Bye Lizzy,” Tyler said with a wave.

  Alone at last! There was too much love and forgiveness whirling around this room today. It was making me dizzy, and made my head want to explode. I hoped that Michael would meet me in my dreams tonight.

  I decided to bide my time and head to the bathroom, but there was a wire from my arm connected to an IV bag. At least my legs weren’t as weak or wobbly as they were earlier. I noticed my backpack lying in the corner of the room, so I wheeled my IV to it, picked it up, and headed into the bathroom.

  I would finally have a chance to really look at myself. I didn’t get the chance to earlier, because I had so many guests, and the nurse had to assist me in and out of the bathroom because I was too weak. I dug through the contents of my bag and found my brush, toothbrush, and toothpaste.

  I headed to the sink. I took a deep breath before reluctantly looking into the mirror.

  HOLY HELL! It was worse than I thought. My face looked like it’d been through the meat grinder. Yowza! My left eye and cheek were swollen and purple. I had bandages wrapped around my head with a patch of hair sticking out of the top, scratches on my face, the tip of my nose was bright red, my lips were cracked and dry, and the left upper side of my lip looked like it had been injected with too much collagen.

  This is what people were looking at all day? How embarrassing! I looked like Quasimodo! My guests were exceptional actors. I couldn’t believe they didn’t have looks of shock and horror when they entered and saw this face.

  I grabbed my brush and tugged at the hair that was free from the bandages. I attempted to brush them down to make it look half-way decent. It didn’t work. I looked like a monk – bald with a small patch of hair on my head. There was no way I could look normal, unless I had some sort of magical potion. Fat chance!

  My face looked as if it had barely survived a hit from a Mac truck. Thank God my arms and legs were fine and functional. Just a few bruises and scratches here and there from falling, and some very minor frostbite, but that was it.

  I touched the swollen purple skin around my eye and cheek. It was tender to the touch. I felt sick remembering back to how I got it but quickly squashed it. I didn’t want to dwell on that pig.

  I dug through the contents of my bag. Someone had stocked it up. I love them! Whoever it was. Most likely Emily. There was my make-up bag (which I would definitely use tomorrow), a pack of gum, some chocolate bars, Q-tips, deodorant, perfume, a razor, travel sized shampoos and conditioners, lotion, soap, a washcloth, and a new lime green bath scrubber.

  I hoped they’d take my bandages off tomorrow so I could take a real shower. I turned on the water from the sink and let it warm; lathered soap on my washcloth and wiped myself down. I lifted my arm to see a little forest growing under my armpit. Oh jeeze! So, I lathered ‘em up and shaved ‘em clean.

  I gasped as I scrubbed my hand. My ring from Michael was missing. I reached for my neck. The amulet and locket were gone too. I dug frantically through the bag but couldn’t find any of them. Maybe my mom had taken them.

  I zipped open the little pocket in the front and pulled out my lip balm, heavily coated my lips and rubbed them together. They were so dry it felt like I was rubbing sandpaper together.

  After I brushed my teeth, I headed back to bed. I turned on the TV and stared at it for almost a half-an-hour before realizing I didn’t have a clue what was going on. My mind had wandered, thinking about everything I’d gone through these past few days. It jumped from one thought to the next; thoughts of Michael, my mom, Tyler, Emily… and Buck. I shivered at that last name. I needed some help to put my mind at rest. I pressed the call button and a few seconds later the nurse came in.

  “Hi Elizabeth, how can I help you?” she asked politely.

  “I need something to help me sleep.”

  “Tired but you can’t sleep, huh?”

  “Yep. My mind is too wired up.”

  “Well, you’ve been through a lot. I’ll go get something to help. Be right back.” She smiled and exited the room.

  “Thanks.”

  She returned a few minutes later, handing me a tiny paper cup with one little white pill, and another cup of water.

  “Here you go, sweetie. This will help you get some sleep. I’m just going to check your vitals while I’m here.” She did her thing, and then headed out the door.

  “Excuse me!” I called. I forgot to ask.

  “Yes?”

  “Do you know what happened to the ring and necklaces I was wearing?”

  “Oh yes,” she said heading over to the little table beside the window. She pulled open the top drawer and removed a little plastic bag. The ring, amulet and locket were all safely inside.

  “Thank you so much! I thought I’d lost them.”

  “Just let me know if you need anything else…alright sweetie?”

  “I will. Thank you.”

  I slid the ring back on my finger and the amulet and locket back around my neck. Forever in my heart. It’s what Michael and I would say to each other, and what was inscribed on the inside of the ring and the back of the locket. The locket was empty. Michael had left it blank, so I could fill it.

  I flicked through the channels and stopped on a cooking show. Rachel Ray was concocting a chicken dish. I loved her. She reminded me of Emily.

  I watched her douse a heated pan with “EVOO” (Extra Virgin Olive Oil), and season up some chicken breasts. I was actually paying attention. Good. My mind was finally giving me a break.

  I wondered if I would dream of Michael again. I hoped. After about twenty more minutes, my eyes started getting heavy. The pill was kicking in. I clicked off the television and shut my eyes. I listened to nurses walking in and out adjoining of rooms, voices quietly echoing through the hall, phones ringing, and muffled sounds of television stations. After a while of tossing and turning I finally found sleep.

  Chapter 12

  I thought I’d dream sweet dreams of Michael, but instead, I found myself in another dark place. In the distance, nestled within a half-circle of spruce trees, I saw a cabin.

  What the heck was up with me and these cabins? I was beginning to hate them. The upside was that this cabin looked mostly harmless. Its lights were on and a steady flow of smoke rose from its chimney. A sweet aroma of cake, or something freshly baked, wafted through an open window. I snuck closer to get a glimpse of whom or what was inside. I was getting pretty comfortable spying in my dreams.

  I crept up the front porch and peered into a window. It looked as if it hadn’t been used in years. The furniture was covered in sheets and dust. The stove held a large pot, simmering with something that smell
ed like stew or chili. A batch of freshly baked cornbread sat cooling on a rack nearby.

  There was a rustling in one of the back rooms, and faint whimpers or crying. What was going on? Why was I here? I kept my eyes and ears open. I anxiously waited for Michael to show up, but I guess he’d be a no-show in this dream.

  I heard a door swing open so I quickly ducked below the window. I wasn’t about to take any chances and risk my life, even in a dream. Loud footsteps hammered across the floor into the kitchen. I had to look. I had to see who it was. I slowly inched up until I could see clearly.

  Oh hell, why him? He was haunting me while I was awake and in my dreams! It was Buck. I’d had enough horrors from that man to last me two lifetimes.

  I watched as he lifted the lid of the pot and stir its contents, then slurp the spoon. “Mmmm,” he hummed, sending a shiver down my spine.

  He walked to a small table, rolled up a dollar bill, and sniffed a long white line. It had to be cocaine. The corner of the kitchen was stacked with cases of beer and bags of Doritos. Gross. The smell of it on his breath still haunted me, and thinking about it made me nauseous.

  A loud banging came from the back room. His face went hard as he stomped back kicking open the door.

  “Ya better behave yourself, or I’ll kill ya!” he threatened.

  Unwillingly, my body was pulled into the cabin with great force. I had no control. I hovered through the cabin wall, down the hall, and stopped next to Buck. Fear surged through me at his closeness. My pulse raced. He kicked at something on the floor. It was someone’s legs.

  I was pulled even farther, to the back corner of the room. Two persons were on the ground, bound back-to-back; their heads covered in potato sacks and tied at the necks. Blood stains spotted them.

  I gasped. He’d had two more helpless victims, and there was nothing I could do to help them.

  He screamed obscenities, walking toward them.

  “Did ya hear me?” he yelled. He went to the nearest and tore off the hood.

  My heart stopped. My breath froze in my lungs.

  It was Emily. She was crying, and blood trickled from her nose. Her mouth was taped shut with the same silver duct tape he’d used on me. Her eyes were wide with terror.